you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
