I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
