That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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