Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
now i know why i became what i already was.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
