I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
