i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
