It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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