one two three fourrrrnication!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
