I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
