Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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