I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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