i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
