shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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