apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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