CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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