I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
