I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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