I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize