My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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