like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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