people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
