whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
