THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize