Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
