Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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