so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize