i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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