Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
