I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
