yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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