my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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