When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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