Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
we should paint friendship bongs
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