You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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