too bad you live with your parents still
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
