enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
