i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize