remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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