their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
