i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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