he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sorry my hands just texted you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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