It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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