Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize