he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
