I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
