My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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