We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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