I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
