this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize