i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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