my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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