You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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