If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize