I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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