i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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