I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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