maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
