And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
