Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
