i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
