I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize