I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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