There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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