he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
