yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
