you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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