More tranny stories later!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
