i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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