i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
