if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
