well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
