you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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