I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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