your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
