her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
