i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
