Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
operation have a gay friend backfired
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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